1/24/2012

It's GAME ON...

We did a little recon mission to verify The Howling course conditions to be true to Pirate ways - the official results are in...YOU are gonna get worked like a minimum wage job! The Howling course is being designed as you read this. There's some wicked, and we mean WICKED hard climbing...and lots of it. There is DANGER, as always. Someone might get killed or end up in a wheelchair after racing this course. There is dirt, gravel, mud, grass, rock, obstacles, climbing, and descents that'll make your ass pucker. It's so on that if you miss this race, you're just plain as day - a huge vagina. Our course designer went to great lengths to hobble his gimp-ass all over BFE to make sure you'd walk away with a huge shit-eating grin on your face, guaranteed.
How about a fist full of this?
For those of you coming off CX season prepping for XC season, get your ass to The Howling. This course is way more your style than The Darkness was. For those who never stray from the Mountain Bike side of things, you too will have your moments of joy and sorrow. The new course is longer, faster and full of wicked hard climbs or 'beer climb paradise' as we Pirates might say. That and some crazy fast descents. Full moon madness is in effect. To those who don't show... enjoy playing D&D in your mothers basement. It's cool to live with mom at 30, really, you piece of work you...
For those new to Pirate cXc, you must pre-register via email to singlespeedpirate@gmail.com to get the info. This is underground racing, if you want to be informed you need to get in touch. Cheers!

1/21/2012

The Howling Press Release...

O.K. Folks, we have issues. First things first; YOU need to pre-register. If we do not get enough pre-registered racers we will cancel the race. It's WAY too much work to promote a race and have a crap turn-out. If you raced The Darkness and had a killer time - TELL YOUR LIKE MINDED PALS! Pre-register via email to singlespeedpirate@gmail.com

Even if you actually sack-up and pre-register, there is still a chance that The Howling is NOT gonna happen. Our main promoter/course designer just ate-major-shit riding his bike and has injuries good enough to keep him off the bike and on the couch. So, with that being said, check back here often for updates. As of today we are still a GO, but you've been warned.
Lastly - We have changed race day from Sunday to Saturday. If you'd rather us move the day back to stooper-bowl Sunday let us know. We couldn't give two-shits about the stooperbowl and would rather be riding bikes in the dark. If you're like us and are worthy of a place in The Howling, we hope you think the same.

Take a Minute...

.. and visit our fine 2012 Pirate cXc Winter Night Race Series Sponsors; They kick some ass, really.
Taddihogg Hats
The finest hand made cycling hats this side of the Mississippi. Locally grown here in the Midwest by cyclist for cyclist. Buy Local, support your fellow cycling dirtbags. Check them out here at

Oddly Correct
Simply THE best nano-brewed coffee in the solar system. Also Local, also made by cyclist who really know what it's all about. A more than great way to get your legs in the morning. Head over to the shop and experience coffee like never before. Check them out online here at
Randy Braley Photography
I'll say it again, 'Local Cyclist'. Randy is at all of the races shooting sweet photos of you jerks racing. He has a keen eye for the goods be it hanging off the side of a cliff shooting Rock Climbing for the magazines or freezing his nuts off while you pedal around in the darkness. Have a special occasion you want photos of? Check his work out at http://www.randybraley.com

Sniper Bladeworks
There is a theme..Local, Cyclist. Sniper Bladeworks is a custom knife shop located here in Kansas City. The boys know how to build unique blades that even the reality t.v. show celebrities are dying to get their hands on. Custom blades that are equal in cost to your bike. Hell yeah! Check them out here at

Kuat Racks
Locally owned bicycle rack innovators. These guys design and build the sickest modes of transporting your bikes in style. Great lines, looks and function. Kuat also gives back ten-fold to the cycling community...and they ride hard. If you need a rack, get it form Kuat. Everything else is inferior. Check them out online here
SSP
A good read,some motivation and the cash pig who makes it all happen. Check out his minds-eye at http://singlespeedpirate.blogspot.com/

PBR
Everyone knows that you get thirsty racing bikes. Thanks to PBR for keeping us hydrated during our time of need. Check them out at http://pabstblueribbon.com/Default.aspx

1/13/2012

Race No.2 - The Howling...

February 4th, 2012
  • 7 p.m. Sharp
  • Fee T.B.D.
  • Lap race
  • Classes
    • Singlespeed
    • Geared
  • KC Metro Area location (to be announced).
  • Course Designed for Mountain and CX bikes (any bike welcome)
  • Helmets required
  • lights required
Space is limited to the first 40 registrants
Pre-register via email at singlespeedpirate@gmail.com 
Subject: The Howling
Please include the following info (you're info will not be sold, shared, etc.)
  • Name
  • Age
  • Address
  • Class
  • Email
  • Phone #
More details soon...were gonna keep you guessing.

The Darkness - Results...

Below are the post race, unofficial/official 'still non-sober' results. Yeah, we suck at keeping score, but I think you are all aware that Pirate cXc is not all about being the fastest guy out there, though being fast is pretty cool. It's about having fun on your bike, in an otherwise gloomy and cold-ass time of year. We like to call it motivation.
Though Race night results differ from below, after much deliberation with regards to bonus points and good looks, here we have it... If you walked with an award and are not listed as top three below, thank the rice crispie treat gods for your free booty. *Times listed are after bonus' awarded and not actual ride time.

SingleSpeed
  1. Taylor (32:47)
  2. The Manimal (36:50)
  3. Michael (37:10)
  4. Speeding Jesus
  5. Vince
  6. Billy
  7. Will
  8. Beej
Geared
  1. G-Wiz (31:15)
  2. Farmer (36:00)
  3. Mapes (38:10)
  4. Thad
  5. Jeff
  6. JDoug
  7. Kevin
  8. John
  9. Snyder
  10. Boos
Fastest 1st Lap
  1. G-Wiz (8:50)
And of course we have to mention and give grand applause to Beej for getting his first DNF, Tall Bitch for DNS, and to either Boos or Snyder for the coin toss DFL.

Next race we will have our shit more together on scoring, maybe. We were way more focused on good times and a great course. For those of you who might be sad or want to bitch about not knowing your time, or you think there has been a mistake... remember the lack of entry fee and get the f%&$ over it. You were slow or we just don't like you...

Congrats to the fast, to the costumes, to the bonus points winners (Mapes was hands-down the champ in that dept.) and to the 'tosser'. You know who you are. See you next race!

1/09/2012

Race No.1 - How It All Went Down...

Wow!. Riding bikes is pretty fun. Thanks to all those who came out to 'Race' and made the first Pirate cXc event - The Darkness, a HUGE success.
What a great turnout! We're psyched that so many of you crazy mother-truckers came out to play, and were totally down with the shenanigans. If you thought there were a few non-typical activities going down at The Darkness, then you need to show your ugly mug at Race No.2, The Howling - as the sickness has only just begun. 

If you enjoyed the course, let us know. If you are psyched about your experience, tell your like-minded friends and bring them along to the next race.

I know there were a few good crashes, mechanicals and at least one of you tossed your cookies. Flippin' Awesome. It was good to see a good mix of bike types too; fixed gear, Snow Bike, CX, and tons of Mountain; both single speed and geared. We had some good costumes too which are always recommend (I know a few of you got prizes for getting into the spirit!).

Race results are coming soon. Our less-than-sober scoring technique was a bit lacking, but we got the top few of you figured out. With time bonuses for certain activities along the course, some folks took home some goods not for being the fastest, but for having the most good and dirty fun (which is what these races are all about).
A HUGE THANKS to the support crew for the hard work and to Ranski for snapping photos. You folks really made it all happen, you know who you are.

Hope all you peeps had a good time racing. See you and your pals for Race No.2 - The Howling, February 4th. That is if you still have a spine...

1/08/2012

The Day of The Darkness...

Yes evildoers, today it happens. All hell is about to break loose. I hope you are ready to race/ride/have a fun time getting crazy in the saddle.

Looks like a low of 35ish for race time. We recommend coming clothed (there will be a professional photographer on site). See you in a few hours at the Rendezvous. Prepare to make Pirate history.

1/04/2012

Four Days and Counting...

The Darkness course is officially set and ready for racing. We did a handful of laps to make sure the course will leave you gassed and possibly injured. It's getting down to the wire on time and there are very few spaces left so please register if you want to race, it's FREE.
Once registered you will get an email with the event information. As a reminder; the course is only accessible by bike. Everyone at the race will have to ride from our rendezvous point.
We are very psyched to present the first race in the series and hope that you have as much fun racing as we've had designing the course. We also hope you get your ass thoroughly handed to you.
See you SUNDAY for a crazy-fun time. Don't forget to BYOB in the case that we drink your allotment before Sunday. Also remember to CHARGE YOUR LIGHTS and dress for the weather (in your favorite furry costume). Make sure your lights are working. It would be a bummer to leave you in the dark...

1/01/2012

Hey, It's 2012...

A quick update...

The Darkness course is set and way brutal. For those of you who still have a spine, we will be sending out THE email to registered participants this week, as to location and meeting place for Race No.1. If you have not sent an email and registered (It doesn't cost dime), please do so ASAP to singlespeedpirate@gmail.com

I will tell you that we are super excited to give you a virgin course with lots of climbing, descents, recovery, passing, obstacles, mud, dirt, gravel, grass, more climbing and last but not least - Danger! Stay tuned as the week goes on. We will update the blog with the final course map, elevation gain/loss and a list of features that will give you a sure case of the snail eye. I hope you're ready for pain.

Note on Bike Types: We've had a few questions as to "what bike should I race?". I was out riding the course on my rigid fixed gear mountain bike today and it was perfect. I'd say there are equal amounts of advantage and/or disadvantage for Mountain or CX bikes. Whatever it is you decide to use as your race machine, you'd better be able to handle it well on all kinds of terrain. We will be out to pre-ride the course this week on both bike types to make double darn sure that you won't have any lame excuses come race time. I just hope you still have the balls to come out and race in The Darkness. You may not survive...

Note on Race Location: The race location is only accessible by bike. We will ride to the race location as a group and pre-ride the course. This will make it nearly impossible for any non-racers to watch the race, just FYI. Everyone at the race will be racing.

See you Sunday Night!